[2003-03]
Carolyn's Corner
(Editor's note: Carolyn Carpenter is a guest contributor whose humorous contributions have been appreciated many times at LLPublish.com and other media format publishers. Please note that as an independent contributor, her political opinions are entirely her own, and do not necessarily reflect the opinion of Double-L Resources or its staff)
I'm not much of a political animal either in my personal life or at national-pay-attention time.
Once in a rare while I'll graze a pundits essay as I flip a magazine, and I can't help wondering just how these people can possibly believe they have the answers. Has always seemed to me to be a lot more throwing stuff on walls to see what sticks rather than factual knowledge.
As I've gotten older I can no longer avoid or disregard what has happened to both the body politic and the body mine. Everything seems to be sliding downward.
While I've earned the right to spit and request free cosmetic samples, the decline in socially acceptable behavior exhibited by we older ladies doesn't compare to the decline of humanism and genuine patriotism—a possible exception being the country music gang. The low-level mud slinging serves only to dirty ones' hands and all too often, dirty hands win, hands down. Lots of sniping goin on ‘up in ere' right now.
This year its Bush and Cheney against yet unnamed opponents for control of the House White. During the upcoming primaries there will be increasing activity out to the right, and on the left, it's awfully messy already.
The budget battles continue and every time someone raises the Medicare flag, someone else tears it down.
My friend Marty from New Hampshire sent me some suggestions beginning with the idea that we barbecue our congressmen and feed them to the hungry.
“It wouldn't work,” I said, “congress people multiply faster than the hungry do.
The following, in part, resulted from my exchange with Marty. Marty, by the way, has earned two advanced degrees from Brown University .
• No congress-person shall vote for a bill that he/she hasn't read.
• Except for acts of war, congress shall enact no more than 100 pages of legislation per session and should get busy removing laws amounting to little more than legal silliness if not downright destructive of constitutional rights..
The reason for the foregoing is that when new laws go on the books faster than the deficit increases, how is it possible to maintain that “ignorance of the law is no excuse before the court?”
• With the exception of sexual escapades, all congressional committees shall be conducted under normal rules of evidence.
• For every congress person and cabinet member, a special prosecutor shall be appointed by the losing candidate/appointee in the last election of that candidate.
Soon everything will be very confusing. Media people will be walking across the lines willy-nilly and Willy Nilly will be doing the same. Someone will be trying to initiate one-on-one televised gabfests and insult marathons. That will occur after the conventions when the real players are known.
The country is about to be overrun by the full political polls population. There will be the usual wearing of masculine gray suits with dark red ties and big smiles. We will be hearing promises all over the place.
We continue to support this kind of nationwide crazy-making every fourth year. We even take some pride in being exposed to the onslaught of a weird variety of political persuasions. Some give sanctuary to all sides in the war through the caucus process and some families even post signs right in front of their homes.
With elections in November it won't be long until we will have to sort rational decisions from irrational rhetoric.
It's rumored some will try to move closer to the right but may be outnumbered in the crush. Others may consider pushing their way to the left, but in this climate they could find a lot of folks dragging their feet.
I suppose people could consider the middle but I don't think it's there anymore.
